Gamblers Go Back
If I could, I would like everything to be started over.
I am a storekeeper who is responsible for keeping the stores in Tung Chung. As I am single now, I don't have any special requirements for my life. At night, I will set a cot and sleep in the store.
Not long ago, I had everything I wanted.
I worked in a bank after I was graduated from university 10 years ago, and I promoted to branch manager after 3 years. I chose to work in a bank because of the good prospect and stable income. I had a well-paid job which went smoothly, a good wife and a son - my future was bright. However, my self-discipline and wariness were slack unconsciously. I got some inside information and wanted to gain extra profit out of greediness. I started to participate in future trading, and then a tragic consequence was followed.
I was living in the world of numbers; my concept of treating money was blurred as the amount I talked about was counted ten of millions of dollars. When money was just seemed to be numbers, it would detach from the real life and become a win or lose game. The unlimited greediness of my mind was also become irrational to chase victory unceasingly.
I bought the futures as gambling. When I won, the amount I bought would just be a set of number; yet I lost, it would be a real burden. I had lost 9 million of book value; I couldn't afford it so I had to pay it by using company's property privately. I was arrested and put into jail, then my prospect was destroyed.
Two years later, I was released and I went back to my home - my home was no longer existed and I even could not find a method to contact my wife and my son. But I couldn't blame on my wife, as my jail life was totally separated from the real life, I could be sheltered from the gambling debt in jail but the debt still had to be paid by someone else. How could a woman handle it? The difficulties which my wife faced were not unimaginable.
So I respect her choice and have not find them again. I just want them to live peacefully. Still, I cannot compensate to them for the faults that I made with my present ability.
I just guess whether the things I lost in gambling could be started over...